Thoughts on Education

As far back as I can remember, every pre Rosh Hashana we got a stencil with the picture of a scale to color. We were told how Hashem counts up all our Mitzvos and G-d forbid the opposite and we can tip the scale by doing mitzvos, controlling the outcome of our year. There’s more discussion I vividly remember around this but I’ll leave it at that.

It feels like we are setting up our kids for a lifetime of confusion with this and other such teachings.

Because, inevitably G-d Forbid they will see or experience pain. That leaves them with nowhere to go with G-d according to what we taught them. It leaves them/us with mouths gaping open and hearts shattered. Confused, dazed. Looking for reasons.

Because we trained them that there ARE reasons. And the reasons we told them? If you’re a good little boy/girl, you will have good. If bad things happen, we need to try and look at what we’ve done wrong.

Not only is that not the way it actually works in real time, we are teaching them NOTHING about how to actually handle life.

Maybe I’m biased because of my loss. Maybe I’m trying to pick up the pieces for my kids and come up with a new narrative that is sustainable, but I’m pretty sure we are all way off track on this. I can see that from experiencing the community at large through this ordeal. People so good at pity and so not great at comfort (if this doesn’t pertain to you and your connection with me this sentence is not for you!)

My experience is that people have zero idea what to do with tragedy, or death. That it’s like ‘wished away’ or avoided like the plague. It’s ridiculous.

Would we not be better off telling children how we live in ‘Olam Hatikkun’ - a world that needs healing and that we have the power to help and co-create. And that sometimes there are hardships and pain but it’s part of the Master Plan which we don’t always understand but what we DO understand is that pain - even tragedy G-d Forbid can make a person very very strong. So they can really help the world and make a difference. So they can become more and more humble and attached to Hashem knowing it is ALL from Him. That when we don’t understand His workings, it’s a time to sit quietly and work on our trust - to free fall into His arms and know He is crafting every experience FOR us.

Are we not better off getting comfortable with discomfort and teaching our kids to see how resilient they are? And how they will have deep resources to handle life?

Hmm. Thoughts to ponder. Thoughts we are obligated to ponder…….